Boneshaker's Handy Chart For Eating On Your Bicycle [From BA 42-500]

Eating on your Bicycle Best of Boneshaker

Our handy chart for what to eat, and not to eat, while out there on your bicycle.

from BA 42-500

SMART ITEMS TO EAT WHILE RIDING YOUR BICYCLE

  • Apples: this fruit is round and easy to grasp in one hand while cycling. When you’re finished, the core is fun to offer to a passing crow, but is better placed in a compost bin.
  • Carrots: orange vegetables are highly visible to oncoming traffic; therefore, carrots are not only a healthy food choice, but a safe one, too. It’s like eating a little hazard sign that says, “Hello, there! I’m a carrot and this is a cyclist who’s hungry and going places. Please watch out for us, if you would. Thank you, kindly!”
  • “Let’s put a little somethin’ in our lemonade and take it with us.” –The National
  • String cheese: When was the last time you had string cheese? Exactly. It’s been too long since you’ve enjoyed string cheese and it’s awesome. Not recommended, however, for the novice or vegan rider. Peeling said cheese into strings is very pleasing to most riders’ fine motor skills, but do note that it is most easily peeled while riding no-handed.

LESS SMART ITEMS TO EAT WHILE RIDING YOUR BICYCLE

  • Potato Salad: A bike basket full of potato salad is one of the worst ways to go. Not only is there usually mayonnaise in there, but it’s also a total mess when it gets in your spokes.
  • Domino’s Pizza Chicken Kickers: Why do you keep ordering those, anyway? We thought you said you wanted to move away from that type of food. Anyway, they only taste good dipped in gallons of ranch dressing, which requires much concentration and great arm/mouth coordination.
  • “A thimble’s worth of milky moon...oh, it was a funny little thing.” –Joanna Newsom
  • Waffles: It’s the syrup, really, that’s the problem. And the butter. Waffles, on their own, are fine. There’s just too much going on to get the syrup to drizzle just right over the neat square edges of the waffles to make them worth eating while riding.
Evan P. Schneider